Nothing stirs the famished and subdued masses. They have seen everything. And the government, steep in opportunism and refractory to protests, is imperturbable.
At the break of any scandal, the public mopes while the government, without flinching, sweeps the filth under the carpet. Ordinarily, scandals should birth reforms. Because they ought to summon public outrage, task the conscience of leaders and subject the government to ridicule and shame. Scandals instigate sober reflections, re-evaluations and resets of standards. But here, the masses are drowning in lack and gasping, and the government is in a chronic state of casual shamelessness.
This is the story of the Bobrisky saga. Early this year, the EFCC announced it had formed a Taskforce to fight Naira mutilation. The EFCC was devoting a whole team to stopping the almost spraying of naira which was cultural everywhere in the country. Meanwhile, many crooked politicians who had stolen billions from the public treasury roam free, not prosecuted. In Nigeria, when law enforcement agencies go chasing shadows and cleaning cobwebs leaving the elephants into room to lie, people nod knowingly. That Taskforce nabbed a few people. But the first suspect to be charged was the controversial cross-dresser, Bobrisky. He was charged with money laundering and naira mutilation. The puritans said karma had caught up with him. However , the inclusion of money laundering in the charge sheet piqued curiosity. Before the trial got underway, the money laundering charge was dropped and Bobrisky pleaded guilty to naira mutilation. It seemed a soft landing until the Judge read the sentence. He sentenced him to 6 months imprisonment without the option of fine. Bobrisky went to prison, and came out after six months to resume his celebrity duties.
That was the story until this week. Until a recorded phone conversation leaked. Until two days ago when a social activist called Very Dark Man summoned the attention of the country with a recorded phone conversation. The conversation was between Boborisky and a certain man from whom he sought to borrow money while imprisoned. That conversation has altered the original story as we knew it. Assuming that conversation happened and Bobsriky wasn’t lying, then the true story of the Bobrisky saga is that during his trial, he approached some EFCC agents for leniency. The agents demanded a 15 million naira bribe to drop the money laundering charge. Bobrisky, while supposedly in prison, reached out to his friends to gather the bribe money. They obliged, and he remitted the sum to the bad eggs. The money laundering charge was dropped. Bobrisky pleaded guilty to the naira mutilation charge which he could have disputed. He thought the Judge would be mild. The judge refused to play ball. That was why Bobrisky didn’t get a lighter sentence as a first offender. But on his way to prison, Bobrisky telephoned his godfather. The unnamed godfather promised to keep him out of the prison yard. After a few calls to Abuja, the man secured him a reprieve for a fee. The Prisons bosses took their millions and ensconced Bobrisky in an air conditioned apartment near the prison. Bobrisky was asked not to cough or show his shiny face from the windows.
Towards the end of that arrangement, Boborisky started to think of rehabilitating his damaged reputation. The tag of ex-convict was heavy on his mind. So he reached out to Falz. Falz reached out to his father, the senior Falana. According to the phone conversation, Falana promised to secure a presidential pardon for Bobrisky for a fee. Very Dark Man pledged to release another recording if pushed. The hungry masses listened but couldn’t summon any outrage.
Femi Falana has denied any involvement with Bobrisky. Falz, the younger Falana, has denied discussing pardon, but admitted Bobrisky called him to help by lending him money for VIP prison accommodation. Falz has threatened to sue for defamation. Bobrisky, on his part, has dismissed the entire telephone conversation. The EFCC has set up an investigation to unravel the circumstances that led to the dropping of the money laundering charges. The Prisons Service has suspended three senior officials connected with the Bobrisky saga. The Nigerian Bar Association is demanding a thorough inter-agency investigation. Very Dark Man is deflecting umbrage and demanding an external investigation. The Attorney General of the Federation is mute. The presidency appears disinterested. Soon, the dust will settle.
And all those who bothered to pause and snap their fingers will move on. The case of suspended Minister, Betta Edu and the phantom Kogi airport is still lingering. Nine months after that scandal, the presidency has not remembered to demand a report from the EFCC, and the EFCC hasn’t briefed the public. The system is constipated. Nobody has been exonerated or charged. Such cul de sacs crush the morale of young law enforcement agents. Moral confusion abounds. The government’s body language is dispiriting. The former governor of Kogi, Yahaya Bello, who is at large and wanted by the EFCC, visited the EFCC last week and left smiling. Yet he remains at large and wanted.
The system is rotten. The EFCC is, comparatively, an exceptional institution. But it is an agency in the presidency. Don’t blame the EFCC guys. They have seen too much nonsense. There is nothing to fight for. Shenanigans everywhere . They have probably seen too much to remain keenly interested. The code in public service is, ‘All man for himself’. Everything has been bastardised. That agency has some of the most professional young people in law enforcement in the country. But the country has no clear destination. So they stay busy chasing Yahoo Yahoo boys to protect our international reputation. They know the elephant in the room is corruption and embezzlement of public funds by crooked politicians. The files of these politicians are bursting with compelling evidence. But the war requires political courage from the political leadership. Heavily indicted people were made ministers. Indicted people were promoted to party leadership. These are telling actions. They have all become sacred cows, loitering in the corridors of power, demystifying and castrating the EFCC by the impunity they flaunt. We are not ready yet. Corruption is our culture. When we are ready as a nation, we will notify the guys in the EFCC and other agencies. They are the best trained investigators we have. They are the most dutiful. No doubt, the EFCC has very bad eggs. Their legal department is particularly infested with lice. However, compared to the other agencies and public departments in the country, the EFCC is exceptionally good. But the country is not yet ready.
The Prisons are not prisons. The conditions are inhuman. They are congested and dilapidated. The wardens are too poorly paid to bother. The criminal justice system is moribund, dysfunctional. It is effective only against the poor. The inmates live in subhuman conditions. Corruption rules every inch of the prisons, from the gates to the cells. The Bobrisky scandal is the rule rather than the exception. So, we might throw a few scapegoats to the public. But the rot will continue, and big men will continue to buy themselves into external apartments and long hospital stays while imprisoned.
The president has an opportunity to begin a true transformation.
